Office Humor

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Multi-tasking means screwing up several things at once.

Q. What does 98 stand for in Windows 98?
A. It stands for number of times it hangs in a day.

Work faithfully 8 hours a day, and don’t worry because in time you will become the boss and work 12 hours a day and do all the worrying.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

A modern employer is one who is looking for men between ages 25 and 30 with 40 yrs experience.

A system administrator is like Santa Claus, nobody really knows what he does most of the time.

He'd Probably Approve

Haha! Tattoo

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo." A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain; "Why on earthwould an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?""Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; oncein a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Autistic License

It has been proven to be scientifically impossible to think of the color green while yawning. There is one exception to this rule: autistics. In fact, this is a fairly foolproof test of whether a person is autistic or not. If you can yawn and think of the color green at the same time (not the word "green", but the color itself) you are autistic.